Self Talk and It’s Impact

Self-criticism and negative self-talk has a huge impact on our day to day business. That’s the chatter that fills our heads when we are procrastinating about doing sales calls or other activities that we are uncomfortable about. Of course, this chatter comes up quickly when we are learning new skills. It inhibits our courage, confidence, concentration, hope, motivation and excitement – all necessary for extraordinary performance.

The words we choose to cultivate in ourselves will determine our identity and beliefs about self; so it’s important to manage this chatter. “You are the product of everything you put into your body and mind.” (I Ching No. 27, Thinking Body, Dancing Mind, Huang & Lynch)

How to minimize the negative self-talk chatter

· Practice discipline over thought patterns.

· Catch yourself thinking negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.

· Develop positive affirmations about your self worth and say them out loud frequently or post them where you will see them often.

  • Accept compliments as positive affirmations.

· Use a journal to record your self criticisms – then challenge their validity.

· Notice when your internal critic is working overtime: Are you conserving, pulling back, resisting risk, withdrawing, procrastinating? Observe what brought this on. What does it remind you of? What are the consequences of this? Does it make sense, or is it some old tape playing in your head? Reframe your thoughts and take some sort of action that supports the reframe.

· Ask yourself: “Do you talk to your friends as critically as you do yourself?” Of course not, that would destroy the friendship. Treat yourself as you would a friend. (Huang & Lynch)

· Name 5 positive qualities that define you as they pertain to the physical, spiritual, professional, emotional & social aspects of your life. Now turn each quality into a positive affirmation. (Huang & Lynch)

· Remember that optimism is a predictor of success – program yourself to be an optimist – this attracts others and success.

  • Read Michael J. Losier’s book, Law of Attraction.

Coaching Questions to Stimulate Reflection About Your Life & Work

  1. What are you afraid of? What beliefs and attitudes about yourself would you like to change?
  2. Where will you post your positive affirmations so that you are reminded of them regularly?